Classification Essay - Three Types of Dieters :: Classification Essays

Three Types of Dieters A sad fact in American society is that thousands of people search for the elusive dream of being thin. On any given day, one finds neighbors, friends, and relatives on some kind of diet. Dieters assume various disguises, but the noteworthy ones are the "bandwagoneer," the "promiser" and the "lethal loser." Everyone wants to lose weight quickly and effortlessly; therefore, any fad diet promising overnight results becomes the new "call" of the "bandwagoneer." She tries the grapefruit diet or the watermelon diet, but she decides her stomach cannot possibly deal with all of that fruit. The next day the television advertises a new wonder pill that allows the user to lose up to ten pounds in one week, and the "bandwagoneer" answers the "call." Although the magic pill does not produce the desired weight loss, she never gives up hope for a new "wagon" to hitch onto. Once again, this dieter is lured by advertisements of instant spot reduction--liposuction. She crosses over the safety line into a danger zone of unknown procedures, performed by unqualified physicians. Some dieters lose their lives in the search for a beautiful body. The stomach staple is another dieting tool that dieters try. The staple yields a large weight loss, but the dieter endangers her health because of excess loss of body fluids. The "bandwagoneer" is always listening for the newest cure on the dieting market. A family wedding or a special dance is a logical reason for a woman to decide it is time to take off her few, unwanted pounds; however, decisions made in haste are hard to keep, and the "promiser" soon fails in her attempt. She is the dieter with only fifteen pounds to lose, and, as each year flies by, she decides dieting is harder than eating what she wants to, and much less fun! She promises to lose the extra weight for her ten-year class reunion, but her weight-loss pledge is not kept. Some women become "promisers" during their pregnancies, and they broadcast to all within hearing distance that they will lose the extra pounds as soon as the baby is born. The "tomorrow promiser" and the "Monday promiser" are the dieters with whom most people are familiar and whose excuses they know.